Sizes and statistics (by Elisabet)

When I was diagnosed with metastasis of my breast cancer two years ago I was told by my oncologist that the most threatening were my liver lesions. I was told that I had to undergo a long-term chemo treatment because the toxicity produced by the tumors in my liver might go to my brain and cause sudden death. Luckily, that didn't happen. It was only some months later (when the lesions had reduced more than 50% their size) when the doctor told me the initial size of my 2 liver lesions: 45 mm. and almost 60 mm. diameter. They were really big, so big they even touched each other and melted into each other. Of course I was frightened, but then I said to myself that I was not going to worry about sizes.

The same applies for statistics. I simply don't care about them. Of course they are useful to doctors, to science... useful for further research. So that's good, statistics need to be taken into account by the professionals in these areas, but not by me. As a cancer patient, I leave this task to the doctors and researchers. My job is to focus on myself, body and mind, my job is to keep alive, to try to wake up everyday with a smile... my job is to take the prescribed drugs (I'm on oral chemo now), to undergo the necessary tests and scans, and to just live.

One of the many things that make me feel alive is to write and, to my surprise, writing in this blog has become therapeutic for me. I write not only to express myself, but also in the hope that at least some of my writings can inspire and be of some help for those who read them with patience and understanding. I also write out of deep friendship for the creator of this blog, who is one of my best companions in this journey and whose courage and optimism are so inspiring and so important to me.