I feel quite recovered from chemo side effects, appart from the omnipresent fatigue and a few other little things. But I'm expecting quite a good week ahead: as I feel quite recovered and don't have to go to hospital it is like holiday week for me.
The quote I wanted to share, as I said in my previous post, is the following:
(The characters are star-gazing)
"... all that was solemn and soothing, and lovely, appeared in the brilliancy of an unclouded night, and the contrast of the deep shade of the woods. Fanny spoke her feelings. 'Here's harmony!' said she, 'Here's repose! Here's what may leave all painting and all music behind, and what poetry only can attempt to describe. Here's what may tranquillize every care, and lift the heart to rapture! When I look out on such a night as this, I feel as if there could be neither wickedness nor sorrow in the world; and there certainly would be less of both if the sublimity of Nature were more attended to, and people were carried more out of themselves by contemplating such a scene.' "
Jane Austen, Mansfield Park
Jane Austen died in 1817 at age 41 leaving a novel and a few other writings unfinished.
A journalist and writer who is recently retired but still very active, and who was interviewed on TV a few days ago, said something very simple which I liked: "We die and we leave a book unfinished, or we didn't tell a person that we love him or her very much."
To my mind, it's not a big deal to leave something unfinished, but if we try not to leave things unsaid (meaning, of course, expressing our good feelings to the people we love) our passing will surely be more peaceful and even our acceptance of it may be bigger.
They say that we were born to die. We accept this premise as common knowledge. But that's just a fact which has nothing to do with our feelings, for we were not born to die: we were born to LIVE.
Sunday, November 24, 2013
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Weak week
The title is because this week I'm suffering from chemo side effects which, in this present chemo, consist of some disgusting nausea (fortunately not throwing up), some pain in my chest, some low temperature some days, constipation, lose of appetite, and feeling tired. I force myself to eat, though. I always liked eating and I think it's one of the pleasures we can enjoy in this life. So I'm quite strong-willed when it comes to eating, even if I don't feel hungry at all... haha!!!
Two days ago I could do almost nothing. In the afternoon, while I was resting in bed, I could see some clouds changing colour: they became between orange and pink. Very beautiful. I tried to retain this simple image in order not to feel so miserable. I smiled. It was one of the best moments of the day.
In my next post (when I have more energy) I will share a quote about admiring nature, quite inspiring.
Two days ago I could do almost nothing. In the afternoon, while I was resting in bed, I could see some clouds changing colour: they became between orange and pink. Very beautiful. I tried to retain this simple image in order not to feel so miserable. I smiled. It was one of the best moments of the day.
In my next post (when I have more energy) I will share a quote about admiring nature, quite inspiring.
Thursday, November 7, 2013
More autumn colours
After reading your kind comments to my previous posts I feel tempted to insert more autumn colours. So there you are!These are from an excursion five years ago, but I'm sure that the landscape is exactly the same this year.
Sometimes, when looking at these pictures, I have mixed feelings: happy for having been there and enjoyed to the most these mountain trails and sad for the uncertainty of not knowing whether I will be able to do this again.
My body is not so strong now as it was for instance last year; so many chemo treatments have their negative effects on the body. I try not to ask to myself such questions as: Until when will the present treatment be effective? Will I be able to do this or that again? But I think that nobody in my situation couldn't help asking these type of questions. Actually, nobody knows the answers and I don't want to know them.
So I let these pictures inspire me and cheer me up, thinking that at least I could be there once, and to some places even more than once.
Thank you to all of you who leave comments and to those who don't for your constant support and encouragement. It means a lot to me.
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
Autumn colours
These two following photos were taken by myself, in the mountains close to were I live.
Here, as I said in the previous post, you can see the colours of the autumn leaves against the blue sky in the background.
Let's never cease adding colours to our lives!!!
Here I am again
It's been a while since I last wrote here. Fortunately, the reason is technological, not physical. My computer broke down and it's taken a while to get a new one.
I'm still doing quite well because the new treatment is working again. But I miss my life. I mean my life free from cancer, my true life; a life with other problems, other concerns, but never having to deal with the heavy physical and psychological burden that a cancer with metastasis implies. That's why sometimes I indulge myself remembering nice episodes from the past. Even my childhood seems such a blessing!
It also gives me strength to think about dear YS. It's a real pity that we couldn't be co-authors for longer, but this blog is such a nice legacy from you, my dear friend!
(I address myself to her, as I often do in my thoughts; I think it's good to talk to our departed dear ones. We can almost listen to them replying to us and, in this case, many times I can guess what she would say to me, her advice, her cheering me up. And, as I don't want to disappoint her, I do what she tells me to do because I know it will be good for me, as we always cared for each other).
So, I go on: you were happy when I told you that writing here had become therapeutic for me, too. You kindly asked me, invited me, to maintain the blog, so I'll keep writing as long as I can because I also do it for you and in your memory.
We have nice autumn days lately. They are inviting to go out for walks. It's also nice to sit on a bench and look up to the trees with their beautifully-coloured leaves against the blue sky as the background. Yes, it's autumn now... our favourite season.
I'm still doing quite well because the new treatment is working again. But I miss my life. I mean my life free from cancer, my true life; a life with other problems, other concerns, but never having to deal with the heavy physical and psychological burden that a cancer with metastasis implies. That's why sometimes I indulge myself remembering nice episodes from the past. Even my childhood seems such a blessing!
It also gives me strength to think about dear YS. It's a real pity that we couldn't be co-authors for longer, but this blog is such a nice legacy from you, my dear friend!
(I address myself to her, as I often do in my thoughts; I think it's good to talk to our departed dear ones. We can almost listen to them replying to us and, in this case, many times I can guess what she would say to me, her advice, her cheering me up. And, as I don't want to disappoint her, I do what she tells me to do because I know it will be good for me, as we always cared for each other).
So, I go on: you were happy when I told you that writing here had become therapeutic for me, too. You kindly asked me, invited me, to maintain the blog, so I'll keep writing as long as I can because I also do it for you and in your memory.
We have nice autumn days lately. They are inviting to go out for walks. It's also nice to sit on a bench and look up to the trees with their beautifully-coloured leaves against the blue sky as the background. Yes, it's autumn now... our favourite season.
Friday, August 30, 2013
Things I can do
It is important to remind oneself of the things one can do when faced with difficulties due to an illness like cancer. I realise that many times I make a mental list of the things I can do (and try not to think too much about the ones I cannot do). Some things I can or cannot do change from time to time, but today I'd like to highlight the ones I can do these days. Even though the list may be incomplete, the main things that come to my mind right now are there. I CAN:
· Breathe
· Eat and really enjoy it
· Walk and have walks outside, in the open air
· Speak
· Enjoy the company of friends and family
· Read
· Write
· Watch TV and DVD
· Listen to music
· Sleep (not so well sometimes, but it's ok)
· Smile and laugh (even though laughing may cause some pain in my chest sometimes)
· See
· Touch
· Go to the toilet
· Take showers
· Put on and take off my clothes (I may need some help with the socks and shoes, sometimes)
I even went shopping yesterday (some food, groceries, bread...). Today I feel tired and some parts of my body hurt a little, but I could do it on my own. It was like a challenge, a personal victory. I came back home feeling very happy!
When we are healthy we don't ususally pay attention to the list above, we tend to take all those things for granted. I've learnt not to take things for granted and to give more importance to little things.
We cannot choose what happens to us, but we can choose how to cope with it, the best way to LIVE WITH IT. Of course there are always ups and downs, but we must focus on the "ups" and leave the "downs" behind.
· Breathe
· Eat and really enjoy it
· Walk and have walks outside, in the open air
· Speak
· Enjoy the company of friends and family
· Read
· Write
· Watch TV and DVD
· Listen to music
· Sleep (not so well sometimes, but it's ok)
· Smile and laugh (even though laughing may cause some pain in my chest sometimes)
· See
· Touch
· Go to the toilet
· Take showers
· Put on and take off my clothes (I may need some help with the socks and shoes, sometimes)
I even went shopping yesterday (some food, groceries, bread...). Today I feel tired and some parts of my body hurt a little, but I could do it on my own. It was like a challenge, a personal victory. I came back home feeling very happy!
When we are healthy we don't ususally pay attention to the list above, we tend to take all those things for granted. I've learnt not to take things for granted and to give more importance to little things.
We cannot choose what happens to us, but we can choose how to cope with it, the best way to LIVE WITH IT. Of course there are always ups and downs, but we must focus on the "ups" and leave the "downs" behind.
Thursday, August 22, 2013
Life goes on
After failure of previous treatment, the new one seems to be working very well in comparison. After all those days in hospital and then feeling rather weak at home, finally I'm building up some stamina again. I realised I had lost a lot of muscular tone in my legs, so now that I could finally resume my walks outside I can feel my muscles slowly building up again and I can walk better and feeling safer that my legs will respond.
I am still amazed at how many different treatments are available for breast cancer metastasis. I not only feel amazed, but extremely grateful to science, doctors, and researchers.
And also very grateful to my body: it does not want to give up. It keeps finding the strength (sometimes I just don't know where from). I've learned to love every single part of my body because after some very tough days of mental struggle, my body has reacted in a way that makes me confident again... full of hope... again.
I am still amazed at how many different treatments are available for breast cancer metastasis. I not only feel amazed, but extremely grateful to science, doctors, and researchers.
And also very grateful to my body: it does not want to give up. It keeps finding the strength (sometimes I just don't know where from). I've learned to love every single part of my body because after some very tough days of mental struggle, my body has reacted in a way that makes me confident again... full of hope... again.
Thursday, August 8, 2013
Taking it easy
Last treatment did not work. I had to be in hospital for 14 days.
Just starting a new one, low dose, see how my body responds after showing progression of my cancer. But I have the good feeling this one will work out (the last one must have been too strong for me). Funny though that, now that I'm back home, sometimes it feels just the same, as nothing happenned to me, as life seems to be back to normal. However, I take it all very easy, rest a lot and concentrate only in healing and on never losing hope. I still feel strong enough to keep the fight going. I try to smile as many times as possible during the day. Sometimes I even smile while sleeping, in my dreams. That must be a good sign :-)
Just starting a new one, low dose, see how my body responds after showing progression of my cancer. But I have the good feeling this one will work out (the last one must have been too strong for me). Funny though that, now that I'm back home, sometimes it feels just the same, as nothing happenned to me, as life seems to be back to normal. However, I take it all very easy, rest a lot and concentrate only in healing and on never losing hope. I still feel strong enough to keep the fight going. I try to smile as many times as possible during the day. Sometimes I even smile while sleeping, in my dreams. That must be a good sign :-)
Sunday, June 23, 2013
When cooking becomes a challenge
I think that most people undergoing chemotherapy would agree with the following statement: it is basic to have someone who can help you with daily cooking; it is a NEED!
Cooking requires a lot of standing up there, in the kitchen. I cannot stand up for a long time because of the lesions in my bones. Besides, after spending half a day in hospital for tests, visits, treatments... by the time I get home I feel so tired that I'm not able to cook. Fortunately, I have two to three close people who can help me in this task, even though not every day. So, what I do is to cook when I feel well enough to do it and then use the freezer to store some half-ready meals. After all, cooking healthy food is not so difficult. I don't cook very elaborated dishes, I tend to be practical and spend as little time in the kitchen as possible. However, I do like to prepare my own food because I can control the ingredients and do it to my own taste and needs.
It is also good to locate a cater food place near home in case of need. It can be a small shop, where home-made meals (as simple and healthy as possible) are made to take away. You can also locate one or two restaurants where you can make sure that the food suits your needs and that it's good for you. Going to a restaurant can be a nice outing when you feel well enough to go. It doesn't matter which day it is: any day is o.k. to celebrate life.
I would like to thank once more all of you who read this blog. It is such a nice surprise to find all those comments from friends of YS who now regard me as their friend too, even though we may not have met physically... it really warms my heart and nourishes my soul. You say that you are with me. Let me tell you that I am with you, too. Fighting together makes the battle easier to bear and it draws many smiles on our faces. Thank you and love.
Cooking requires a lot of standing up there, in the kitchen. I cannot stand up for a long time because of the lesions in my bones. Besides, after spending half a day in hospital for tests, visits, treatments... by the time I get home I feel so tired that I'm not able to cook. Fortunately, I have two to three close people who can help me in this task, even though not every day. So, what I do is to cook when I feel well enough to do it and then use the freezer to store some half-ready meals. After all, cooking healthy food is not so difficult. I don't cook very elaborated dishes, I tend to be practical and spend as little time in the kitchen as possible. However, I do like to prepare my own food because I can control the ingredients and do it to my own taste and needs.
It is also good to locate a cater food place near home in case of need. It can be a small shop, where home-made meals (as simple and healthy as possible) are made to take away. You can also locate one or two restaurants where you can make sure that the food suits your needs and that it's good for you. Going to a restaurant can be a nice outing when you feel well enough to go. It doesn't matter which day it is: any day is o.k. to celebrate life.
I would like to thank once more all of you who read this blog. It is such a nice surprise to find all those comments from friends of YS who now regard me as their friend too, even though we may not have met physically... it really warms my heart and nourishes my soul. You say that you are with me. Let me tell you that I am with you, too. Fighting together makes the battle easier to bear and it draws many smiles on our faces. Thank you and love.
Friday, June 21, 2013
When taking a shower becomes a challenge
Two days ago I started the new chemo treatment. This one is heavier than the tablets, but I hope it works well. It is a very good treatment, quite new, and it has proved to work in many metastatic breast cancer patients. After the first session I'm feeling very tired, my bones ache, so I spend time lying on bed, sleeping, watching some TV... doing nothing. It is good to have a small TV in the bedroom (better with integrated DVD player, so that you can watch some videos or films that you like). I never wanted to have a TV set in the bedroom but recently, I must admit, it's been a very good idea. It's a good entertainment, sometimes.
A simple thing like taking a shower may become challenging when suffering from a serious illness: to have to stand there, on a somewhat slippery floor, to make all those movements, wash hair, not being able to bend your body so much as to reach your feet... really tiring and challenging. But I still can do it, so I feel happy.
Well, let's see how the treatment goes, but at this point in my life sometimes I tend to think that nothing is so serious. We tend to regard our life as a right, not as a PRIVILEGE, and we tend to think that death is the worst that can happen to us. But it's not. Suffering from severe physical pain is much worse. However, while we are here, I think it's worth to do our best in order to live as full as possible. Is it possible to live fully while suffering from a life-threatening illness? Yes, it is. Priorities change, that's all. It all consists in continuously adapting to new situations. And again, that's life: an always changing and unpredictable thing. Acceptance of what happens to us is very important because through acceptance we can see the positive aspects of what, to the eyes of others, would be a completely negative situation.
And again, LIFE is what matters. Death does not. We must learn to differentiate.
A simple thing like taking a shower may become challenging when suffering from a serious illness: to have to stand there, on a somewhat slippery floor, to make all those movements, wash hair, not being able to bend your body so much as to reach your feet... really tiring and challenging. But I still can do it, so I feel happy.
Well, let's see how the treatment goes, but at this point in my life sometimes I tend to think that nothing is so serious. We tend to regard our life as a right, not as a PRIVILEGE, and we tend to think that death is the worst that can happen to us. But it's not. Suffering from severe physical pain is much worse. However, while we are here, I think it's worth to do our best in order to live as full as possible. Is it possible to live fully while suffering from a life-threatening illness? Yes, it is. Priorities change, that's all. It all consists in continuously adapting to new situations. And again, that's life: an always changing and unpredictable thing. Acceptance of what happens to us is very important because through acceptance we can see the positive aspects of what, to the eyes of others, would be a completely negative situation.
And again, LIFE is what matters. Death does not. We must learn to differentiate.
Saturday, June 1, 2013
New treatment
Unfortunately, I don't have such boring news today. My latest CT scan shows that there is an increase in size in my two liver lesions. I also have slight bone ache, sometimes. This means that the oral chemo I was taking has stopped being effective. The good news is that there is an alternative treatment for me, which I will start on the second half of June, after detox time.
I was suspecting something of the sort, as my body was starting to warn me. I can't say I am happy with the news, in fact I've been sad. But I am hopeful that the new treatment will work and that the lesions will be reduced again. No need to be alarmed, especially when my oncologist sounds so calm and confident about the new treatment working well on me.
It is hard to keep a fight like this going every day and assuming the psychological burden and the ups and downs that it implies. However, I am far away from losing hope and I am happy to enjoy a good quality of life (meaning being able to do the daily tasks, being able to listen to music, read books, have walks, take showers, enjoy food, enjoy the company of friends and family...). Happy to keep buying time, as Yin San would say. I keep fighting for her too, she wished that I could maintain this blog that she created (we will always be co-authors). The thought of her keeps encouraging me, I have the best example in her way of fighting this journey.
I'm not going to disappoint you, my friend. I also do it for you.
I was suspecting something of the sort, as my body was starting to warn me. I can't say I am happy with the news, in fact I've been sad. But I am hopeful that the new treatment will work and that the lesions will be reduced again. No need to be alarmed, especially when my oncologist sounds so calm and confident about the new treatment working well on me.
It is hard to keep a fight like this going every day and assuming the psychological burden and the ups and downs that it implies. However, I am far away from losing hope and I am happy to enjoy a good quality of life (meaning being able to do the daily tasks, being able to listen to music, read books, have walks, take showers, enjoy food, enjoy the company of friends and family...). Happy to keep buying time, as Yin San would say. I keep fighting for her too, she wished that I could maintain this blog that she created (we will always be co-authors). The thought of her keeps encouraging me, I have the best example in her way of fighting this journey.
I'm not going to disappoint you, my friend. I also do it for you.
Monday, May 20, 2013
Time flies
How time flies! I realised it's been almost one month since my last post. Not that I have anything special to say today, but just thought I would write a little to let all of you who read this blog regularly know that I'm doing fine. I've just been immersed in my routine, going to hospital for usual tests and visits, but also reading, cooking, doing the daily tasks at home, and trying to have walks outside. This last part is difficult lately because of the constantly changing weather. It's a surprisingly cold Spring, this year, very rainy and windy. So, as I don't want to risk getting a cold, there are days when I have walks at home, up and down the corridor, from the dining-room to the bedroom and back. It's a bit boring, of course, but it's a way to keep active, to keep exercising.
Well, that's the exciting news I wanted to share today :) :) :)
But I'm just happy to share these boring news, as that's a sign that everything is well under control.
Boring news sometimes are the best news!!!
Well, that's the exciting news I wanted to share today :) :) :)
But I'm just happy to share these boring news, as that's a sign that everything is well under control.
Boring news sometimes are the best news!!!
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Walking (2nd part)
I realise it's been almost 2 years and a half since I'm having a CT scan every two months. CT scan was something so rare to me before... and now it's become part of my routine. I don't even get nervous when I go to hospital to have a CT scan done. Of course I get a little nervous when I have the visit with my oncologist and she tells me the results. But then I love it when she says: "Good morning, the scan is o.k." And then she goes on: "Ok, now let's talk a little bit: tell me, how are you?" She's real nice! Well, that's what's happened this past Monday, April 22nd. So I go on with my chemo tablets, which I can take comfortably at home.
I post some pictures here related to my previous post, about Walking. In the outskirts of my hometown there is the countryside, and I love having walks there. There are many different spots that I like, and that's one of them. I always think about YS when I have these walks, I let her accompany me... As I wrote to her once:
This is where I walk, I walk my thoughts of you...
I post some pictures here related to my previous post, about Walking. In the outskirts of my hometown there is the countryside, and I love having walks there. There are many different spots that I like, and that's one of them. I always think about YS when I have these walks, I let her accompany me... As I wrote to her once: This is where I walk, I walk my thoughts of you...
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Walking
It's amazing how radiotherapy keeps being effective weeks after it's been done.
I'm happy because it's been very effective: zero pain in my left femur most of the days. So, I gradually increase my exercise: very simple exercises at home, not forcing at all, not carrying any weight, but just some stretching exercises, very mild, doing it very slowly. I do it one leg at a time. Then what I enjoy most: going out for walks!!! No slopes, flat areas, but absolutely rewarding. I started walking for 20 minutes and gradually improving it. These days I can walk for 1 hour non-stop; even more than that if I stop to sit down on a bench for a while (let's say 10 to15 min) or if I have a sit at the terrace of a bar, while enjoying some fruit juice. Now that the weather is getting warm and nice in my latitudes (spring is here) I can really enjoy my walks and my time out.
So, doing this on a daily basis helps build up my stamina and strengthen my muscles, which is very important, as the muscles help the bones, and can prevent them from fracturing. Of course I always take my stick with me; not that I need it so much nowadays, but it helps especially to prevent me from stumbling and falling and so that my hips don't have to carry the weight of my body all the time.
Needless to say, these walks are also a balm for the mind and spirit. I feel happy and invigorated afterwards.
I'm happy because it's been very effective: zero pain in my left femur most of the days. So, I gradually increase my exercise: very simple exercises at home, not forcing at all, not carrying any weight, but just some stretching exercises, very mild, doing it very slowly. I do it one leg at a time. Then what I enjoy most: going out for walks!!! No slopes, flat areas, but absolutely rewarding. I started walking for 20 minutes and gradually improving it. These days I can walk for 1 hour non-stop; even more than that if I stop to sit down on a bench for a while (let's say 10 to15 min) or if I have a sit at the terrace of a bar, while enjoying some fruit juice. Now that the weather is getting warm and nice in my latitudes (spring is here) I can really enjoy my walks and my time out.
So, doing this on a daily basis helps build up my stamina and strengthen my muscles, which is very important, as the muscles help the bones, and can prevent them from fracturing. Of course I always take my stick with me; not that I need it so much nowadays, but it helps especially to prevent me from stumbling and falling and so that my hips don't have to carry the weight of my body all the time.
Needless to say, these walks are also a balm for the mind and spirit. I feel happy and invigorated afterwards.
Friday, April 5, 2013
Gratitude
I would like to express my gratitude to all of you who keep reading this blog and also to those who write comments; I read all of them and I very much appreciate your words of encouragement and understanding. Thanks to all of you!
I'm doing fine physically and emotionally. The grief for the loss of my beloved friend is well under control and I am cheerful most of the time, which is my usual self. I smile and laugh, when the occasion arises, in my daily life. Laughter and sense of humour are powerful healers. When I feel sad I think about how lucky YS and I have been to know each other and to share so many things, and a similar outlook to life, apart from our fight against cancer. I see it as a gift from life. And then I also think that she would be happy to see me fight and enjoy life. Had the situation been the reverse, I would have also wanted her to be happy, to keep the fight going, and to live life as full as she could.
I was struck by an article that she wrote here, in the blog, on Tuesday, June 7, 2011
I happened to read it a few days ago. If you want, have a look at it. The title is: Grieving and Healing.
Time ago I heard the following quote while listening to the radio. I don't know who the author is, but it goes like this:
"The first thing we do when we come into this world is to cry. Let's try to live our lives in such a way that when we depart from it, we do it with a smile."
I forgot to share this quote with YS, but it doesn't matter because she already knew...
And so do I... :)
By the way, I continue juicing and doing my daily exercise, which consists in... walking! Something we do without even paying attention to it when we are healthy, but really good exercise for everybody, and for me now. I miss swimming though... I used to go swimming after work (I tried to do it at least once or twice a week) and sometimes also aqua-gym... oh, I miss it so much!!! But I feel lucky and grateful to life to have been able to do it for many years. I also liked playing tennis... Ah, fond memories... :)
I'm doing fine physically and emotionally. The grief for the loss of my beloved friend is well under control and I am cheerful most of the time, which is my usual self. I smile and laugh, when the occasion arises, in my daily life. Laughter and sense of humour are powerful healers. When I feel sad I think about how lucky YS and I have been to know each other and to share so many things, and a similar outlook to life, apart from our fight against cancer. I see it as a gift from life. And then I also think that she would be happy to see me fight and enjoy life. Had the situation been the reverse, I would have also wanted her to be happy, to keep the fight going, and to live life as full as she could.
I was struck by an article that she wrote here, in the blog, on Tuesday, June 7, 2011
I happened to read it a few days ago. If you want, have a look at it. The title is: Grieving and Healing.
Time ago I heard the following quote while listening to the radio. I don't know who the author is, but it goes like this:
"The first thing we do when we come into this world is to cry. Let's try to live our lives in such a way that when we depart from it, we do it with a smile."
I forgot to share this quote with YS, but it doesn't matter because she already knew...
And so do I... :)
By the way, I continue juicing and doing my daily exercise, which consists in... walking! Something we do without even paying attention to it when we are healthy, but really good exercise for everybody, and for me now. I miss swimming though... I used to go swimming after work (I tried to do it at least once or twice a week) and sometimes also aqua-gym... oh, I miss it so much!!! But I feel lucky and grateful to life to have been able to do it for many years. I also liked playing tennis... Ah, fond memories... :)
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
The train
It's strange what still happens every time I open this blog... I am still surpised at seeing only my own posts, it still feels as if a post may show from my dear friend, the creator of the blog. But there appear only my posts now, on the computer screen. Maybe it's not so strange after all, what still happens every time I open this blog...
I realised it's been the third anniversay of the blog... she started it in March 2010... you see? The blog is still alive, as she is in our minds and hearts. Happy 3rd anniversary, dear blog!
The following quotes come from a little piece of a script of a TV series produced many years ago, which I am now watching again thanks to Internet technology. There were chapters dealing with different issues, but mostly about human values such as friendship, comradeship, care for the environment... and also some thoughts about the beloved untimely departed because of some trick of destiny:
"What I've learnt through the years is that it is useless to rebel against death"
"Life is like a train in motion: those who pass away get off the train, while the others continue travelling... but we are never going to cross the same landscape again"
From the train in motion, thinking of you every single day, my very dear friend, YS...
I realised it's been the third anniversay of the blog... she started it in March 2010... you see? The blog is still alive, as she is in our minds and hearts. Happy 3rd anniversary, dear blog!
The following quotes come from a little piece of a script of a TV series produced many years ago, which I am now watching again thanks to Internet technology. There were chapters dealing with different issues, but mostly about human values such as friendship, comradeship, care for the environment... and also some thoughts about the beloved untimely departed because of some trick of destiny:
"What I've learnt through the years is that it is useless to rebel against death"
"Life is like a train in motion: those who pass away get off the train, while the others continue travelling... but we are never going to cross the same landscape again"
From the train in motion, thinking of you every single day, my very dear friend, YS...
Saturday, March 16, 2013
Juicing
I finished the 5 radiotherapy sessions. Now I need some rest combined with some walks to strengthen the muscles. Well, that's what I've been doing so far, so just continue doing it. I feel happy. I had a CT scan before radio started and the lesions in my liver are stable, perfectly under control. All the other organs are clear!
A friend asked me if I was taking Vitamin D. I try to take all kinds of vitamins through a balanced diet. Vitamin D can be found in milk, yogurts, eggs... and it helps the absorption of calcium by the bones. Sunbathing is also good, but I have to be careful and put on 50+ suntan lotion. What I've been doing for a long time is taking low-fat, high-calcium milk and yogurts (low-fat for my liver, high-calcium for my bones). My motto is: "Eat a little bit of everything but not too much of anything" = balanced diet.
My diet is also rich in vegetables and fruits, as they have many vitamins. I also do juicing. A nutritionist specialised in patients undergoing chemotherapy treatments recommended the following combination:
(for 2 people):
· 2 apples
· 4 to 6 carrots (depending on the size)
· some celery
· a slice of ginger, 1cm thick approx. (you need to peel off the skin first)
You rinse, peel, and cut them, mix them in the juice blender and drink it immediately (optimum in a fasting state; that is when you get up and before having your breakfast). The nutritionist said it's very good to detox the liver after chemo treatments. And it is an excellent ingest of vitamins! Besides, you can share it with somenoe else in the house, as it is good for everybody.
There are many combinations of juicing recommended for cancer patients, but this one I find it quite easy to do and, at least to me, it tastes really good. Then, of course, everybody can make their own combinations according to taste and the fruits and vege you have available in your kitchen and fridge.
By the way, artichoke is a very good vegetable for the liver, not only for cancer patients but for everybody. When it's the season I eat them at least twice a week. If you boil them you have to peel off many leaves before, but if you steam them you just need to peel off the outer layer of leaves and cut off the stem so that the artichokes can "stand" in the steamer. I usually steam fish and rice, as well, and of course other vegetables.
Thanks to my friend who asked me if I was taking Vitamin D, I suddenly thought about juicing and sharing this recipe here.
A friend asked me if I was taking Vitamin D. I try to take all kinds of vitamins through a balanced diet. Vitamin D can be found in milk, yogurts, eggs... and it helps the absorption of calcium by the bones. Sunbathing is also good, but I have to be careful and put on 50+ suntan lotion. What I've been doing for a long time is taking low-fat, high-calcium milk and yogurts (low-fat for my liver, high-calcium for my bones). My motto is: "Eat a little bit of everything but not too much of anything" = balanced diet.
My diet is also rich in vegetables and fruits, as they have many vitamins. I also do juicing. A nutritionist specialised in patients undergoing chemotherapy treatments recommended the following combination:
(for 2 people):
· 2 apples
· 4 to 6 carrots (depending on the size)
· some celery
· a slice of ginger, 1cm thick approx. (you need to peel off the skin first)
You rinse, peel, and cut them, mix them in the juice blender and drink it immediately (optimum in a fasting state; that is when you get up and before having your breakfast). The nutritionist said it's very good to detox the liver after chemo treatments. And it is an excellent ingest of vitamins! Besides, you can share it with somenoe else in the house, as it is good for everybody.
There are many combinations of juicing recommended for cancer patients, but this one I find it quite easy to do and, at least to me, it tastes really good. Then, of course, everybody can make their own combinations according to taste and the fruits and vege you have available in your kitchen and fridge.
By the way, artichoke is a very good vegetable for the liver, not only for cancer patients but for everybody. When it's the season I eat them at least twice a week. If you boil them you have to peel off many leaves before, but if you steam them you just need to peel off the outer layer of leaves and cut off the stem so that the artichokes can "stand" in the steamer. I usually steam fish and rice, as well, and of course other vegetables.
Thanks to my friend who asked me if I was taking Vitamin D, I suddenly thought about juicing and sharing this recipe here.
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
3 rounds of radiotherapy
I already got 3 rounds of radio on my left femur (at the hip level), so just 2 more rounds to go.
These radio sessions last for 10 to 15 min aprox. As they tell me not to move, the first thing I do when the session starts is to concentrate on the invisible rays and telling them: "Ok, go for bad cells! Eliminate bad cells only and let the good ones survive and thrive".
Sometimes funny/crazy thoughts come to my mind during the sessions. Yesterday I suddenly felt like coughing and I strived not to by breathing softly and swallowing some saliva. I succeeded! I was afraid to cough because I thought my body might move and, as radiotherapy acts with such millimetric precision, I was afraid the rays might go somewhere else. And then I suddenly thought: "What if there's an earthquake while people are receiving radio? It seems dangerous, even if it's a light one" I don't live in an earthquake area, but what about people living in areas where earthquakes may happen quite often?" Back home I thought that these radio machines must have a mechanism to make them stop immediately if they notice any slight movement of the earth. I don't know, but I hope so.
Today I was getting bored during the session, so I started mentally singing a couple of songs. I tried to remember the lyrics while silently singing them on my mind (not the slightest movement of my lips). That was good exercise for the memory and it helped me be patient and still during the boring session. Well, I guess they are just mental mechanisms to try to find some amusement in this, while thinking I am given extra power to fight against bad cells :) :) :)
These radio sessions last for 10 to 15 min aprox. As they tell me not to move, the first thing I do when the session starts is to concentrate on the invisible rays and telling them: "Ok, go for bad cells! Eliminate bad cells only and let the good ones survive and thrive".
Sometimes funny/crazy thoughts come to my mind during the sessions. Yesterday I suddenly felt like coughing and I strived not to by breathing softly and swallowing some saliva. I succeeded! I was afraid to cough because I thought my body might move and, as radiotherapy acts with such millimetric precision, I was afraid the rays might go somewhere else. And then I suddenly thought: "What if there's an earthquake while people are receiving radio? It seems dangerous, even if it's a light one" I don't live in an earthquake area, but what about people living in areas where earthquakes may happen quite often?" Back home I thought that these radio machines must have a mechanism to make them stop immediately if they notice any slight movement of the earth. I don't know, but I hope so.
Today I was getting bored during the session, so I started mentally singing a couple of songs. I tried to remember the lyrics while silently singing them on my mind (not the slightest movement of my lips). That was good exercise for the memory and it helped me be patient and still during the boring session. Well, I guess they are just mental mechanisms to try to find some amusement in this, while thinking I am given extra power to fight against bad cells :) :) :)
Saturday, March 9, 2013
Radiotherapy for left femur
In January 2011 I went for 10 radio sessions for my right hip bones (mainly head of the femur). Now, March 2013 I'm going for radio for my left hip (also mainly head of the femur)... well, that's my life now.
But there are many positive aspects, the main one being that I feel very well physically, so this is what's important. This 5 radiotherapy sessions are minutia to me, now. It's amazing how our perceptions change when we are faced with all these... I mean that if I were told, let's say, ten years ago, that I would be ready to undergo radio so naturally, I would have thought they were crazy, and now... here I am, looking forward to the radio sessions next week.
I keep fighting as YS would like me to do. Much as I miss her, I can feel her next to me every single day (it feels as if we keep cheering each other up, as we always did) and this gives me extra strength.
I needed to have my scan done again to determine the exact area were radio is required. So, I got to go to the same room where I went last November. In my post dated November 9th 2012 entitled "Some Colour" I described the wall painted with the rocket that I could see while my scan was being performed. This time I took my camera with me and asked the nurse whether I could take a picture. And see her answer! She said: "Yes, of course, I took a picture too, because I also like the painting". And she showed me the best spot in the room to take the picture!!! She was soooo nice, and so kind... So, here's the picture.
Let's never stop adding some colour to our lives!!!
Friday, February 22, 2013
Feeling the warmth
It is very important for me to feel the warmth of the people close to me (physically and virtually). It is important to feel their support, to know that they are there, that they think about me and wish me well.
During all this time (a little more than two years now) dealing with the metastasis of my breast cancer I've also realised how important it is that these same people feel my warmth, as well. When I can help a family member or a friend to go on an errand... when I call them and tell them I'm ok and I show an interest about their health, work, life in general... when they ask me for advise and my advise is helpful to them... all these things make me very happy. I also like to talk with them about many different things, and sometimes I just don't mention cancer, or treatment; I just tell them I'm fine and then we start talking about other things, more interesting, and also healing :) :) :)
For me, it is as important to feel the warmth from those close to me, as that they can feel my warmth, too.
During all this time (a little more than two years now) dealing with the metastasis of my breast cancer I've also realised how important it is that these same people feel my warmth, as well. When I can help a family member or a friend to go on an errand... when I call them and tell them I'm ok and I show an interest about their health, work, life in general... when they ask me for advise and my advise is helpful to them... all these things make me very happy. I also like to talk with them about many different things, and sometimes I just don't mention cancer, or treatment; I just tell them I'm fine and then we start talking about other things, more interesting, and also healing :) :) :)
For me, it is as important to feel the warmth from those close to me, as that they can feel my warmth, too.
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